Why are we so bent on getting our children to be this or that and listen? Yes I get the whole thing about being under pressure trying to fit in what we want to do in the whole day meal preps making it to appointments day outs adventures and making time for our self. Yet, all this for what? How much of us is truly in the moment in most of what we fill our day with our children? Most of us mentally check out and check into some remote beach in our mental space, all but in the here and now where mealtimes are a struggle, the little one wants his own way, throws a tantrum or a few.
But, have you noticed in all their need for independence and having their way they have a fear that you might leave them if they go too far in enforcing their will? Okay, so if you have, that means they are already scared and we have gone a tad far with the my way or else with them, even a walking away from the tantrum can trigger a feeling of abandonment and rejection in the little ones. You are working on your own conditioning and layering yet whilst in transition it’s very easy to keep the cycle going which is what you want t stop.
Recognise the very thin line between knowing your child is acting out because they need to get some down time, giving them the free hand to have their meltdown and helping them into a safe space so they can sleep or be. For toddlers most meltdowns come from primal needs such as need for connection, need for food and need for sleep and a growing need for power and independence.
When we repeatedly refuse to “give in” we enter a dangerous zone of “breaking the will” of the child. To you as a parent you might think wow win win, what a success, you have a well behaved obedient child, but actually, you have a very ashamed child whose will you have broken in the name of love.
Love just is, we share who we are. We give each other the space to be. We don’t seek to control or need each other but give each other that safety net to be without judgement. That’s what our children need lest their will to be themselves be broken at what we call love because we want what’s best for them.
No, we don’t want what’s best for them, we want what’s convenient to us, and we want what suits our “persona”. Shamefully we make our children fit around us, as opposed to give them the space and fit around them so they can explore their individual self.
Explore your relationships. What’s the flavour? Do you crave an obedient child? Why? Do you live as a victim or do you take responsibility for your life?
We all have the freedom of choice to WILL to live. Even with a day left to live, you can WILL freedom to yourself realising you are more than the physical body.
We have not lived until our “WILL” aligns with our souls blueprint and Spirit. Till then we are creatures of habit still learning about how to be human.
How is your child today? What about your inner child? Have you willed anything today?