We all have a Will, so it appears. But if how we Will, depends on our persona, then surely all we are doing is, obeying and following what feels natural to us, thinking we are enacting a freedom of choice. If our persona is tainted or layered by conditioning so that we are habituated in being a certain way, again, when we Will, we merely do that which is aligned with a belief of who I am even if that “I” is a false sense of self, a coping mechanism of landing in a society full of masks!
When we are born, our brains are yet to fully develop. Scientists say it can take to when we are 21 for our brains to fully develop. We are born with a brain stem, the reptilian brain. We have the instinct to survive. When our primal needs are ALL met, we feel safe secure and relaxed. When we are relaxed, other senses in us can develop. Our brains get wired normally. We develop a Will to thrive. A Will to explore, and a Will to live with purpose, one that we easily find because we are attuned as opposed to one based on survival alone.
When our primal needs are not fully met, we will continue to operate from a need to survive. This need to survive creates a lack inside of us.
It shows up as (inter alia):
Competition
Deception
Greed
Materialistic pursuits
Jealousy
Anxiety
Unrest
Distrust
Self-centredness
Apart from primal needs not being met, we might have had our Will broken by being forced to obey in the name of good behaviour, respect for elders others teachers, etiquette, demeanour, religion and more. Whichever way, our Will to thrive struggles against our survival instincts. We are taught what we need to be and do to survive.
The persona that is developed as a result of a false mirroring back of who we are, is a false persona just like what the mirror showed. It is then up to us to go back to our timelines, wipe the mirror clean, and see for ourselves who we are and thereon put on our right attire- the Truth of us. It is from this place that we will find our individual purpose which with our Will we can enact and live to our true version of Self.
Until then, we are driven to only to survive, and our Will only extends what is our habit, and conditioned sense of Self.
Most relationships are based on an exchange of rewards in the form of needs in one another that will be met. Our attachment style from infancy will lay the framework for the type of relationships we attract. Are we needy anxious or avoidant? We might attract partners who refuse to commit to us and we feel like victims because we want commitment – but in fact we attract such a partner because we are insecure avoidant and not fully in touch with our real sense of self.
If you are on a path of self realisation and the patterns still continue, then progress is not being made. You have just swapped good for bad or bad for good, without going back to the source, the root, of why.
With all the needs of us as the infant child adolescent being met without being forced to be other than the true self, we are then moving towards a confident adult with a secure base from which he can fly the nest knowing his back is covered. Till then, he will keep looking for a nest garbed as jobs houses cars possessions and more.
Have you noticed any lack of Will in you?