We live in as almost awakened but not yet integrated golden age! To some it might still look like an age of darkness but from where I am stood, all I see is so much light above a bed of darkness that acts as our bedrock, our foundation of the real us that we are and not a part of us that is made up or kept up or non existent.
It’s moving to see how many of us are now openly carrying their wounds shadow self and dark parts of self with so much confidence and a real sense of self. At least we are now at a stage of giving up on the self created by others as us and embracing what we know as us. As difficult it is for us to show up for ourselves, and just be without face and no face to save, it is one of the most rewarding thumbs you can really do for yourself and others around you. Yes we all know about authenticity but that hasn’t worked for all of us because we have mistook that for keeping up an appearance of the false sense of self that we associate our real self with.
True we have many aspects to us, these are not the same as what we are at our core. There is that which we are all at the core, and then there is an outer more worldly core that is what we call the individuate core self, that is devoid of any notion of self apart from what is really is with all of us.
The core symbolic dot in the middle of us is what is common to entire creation and that will not and cannot change. It’s what we can also call our essence, a part of God in us, a part of source in us, a part of light in us that is always there. From this or around this we have another part which is the circle around the dot that we call our sense of self and that’s our place in the world in how we wish for our self to be. How do I define myself and what’s my identity?
That’s our material worldly core which we carry as infants, it’s the original version of us in this particular body. I don’t want to get all metaphysical and see no point except to share a little insight about the core this post and blog refers to mostly.
We went through a stage when waking up to lovely quotes and beautifully strung words gave us hope dreams and inspiration. Now, these same positive words advice and metaphysical offerings grate at us because they leave us in wanting. We want to experience all of that and a taste of that same cup of nectar that someone else seems to have at their disposal but we don’t know how to. We want to get real into who we are and stop basking in the words of someone else.
Initially we wanted to step into our own, we started by moving away from relationships family friends anything that we thought didn’t serve us. We then replaced all this with beautiful epiphanies that others experienced and made it our mission to also become so. For some it became following a mindfulness teacher, for others a yoga master, and others watching videos and reading literature that inspired. And then we realise that we are not hung on this version of how things “should” be or “could” be. There is very little sharing of someone’s dark side of their journey into the light for example, or the bed of darkness they lay their light on every day and night.
We know about all the “right” and “good” stuff. But not many want to talk about the politically incorrect, grammatically poor, and not so artful perhaps or even flowery sides of us that also make us. At first we dodged the parental version of us as us, and now the buddhas version of us starts to grate. Why? It’s simply not practical for each one of us. We will have our own version of Buddha or Jesus or God. But to that you will get once you start getting sick of the beautiful words that portray a very rosy picture. Yes it’s rosy but can’t you see those thorns? They too are just as picturesque.
In everyday parenting situations it’s very very easy to offload our version of what we think is the perfect parent onto your how child. This might take away their sense of self and worth. We might stop them from crying or try and protect them from sharing terrible stories and what have you.
Perhaps. Only perhaps and that is down to you and you alone, an early teaching of embracing parts and all of self might help towards a later acceptance of self. Meanwhile, instead of parading what we think might appease the others, how about getting your real self out there (assuming you feel ready safe secure within to)? We have bad hair days, runny makeup after a cry, do you dare to share these? But the real you is what wants to be shared. What stops it?
Perhaps all the do good quotes you keep filling your space with? Or the “higher” purpose that others have shared their insights about with your?
All that the conceives is valid and will be manifest but that is only a concept; it is not you, for you are far more than a concept. However to get to that you, getting the conceptualised version out is vital and key.
How do you really feel when the best idea you have had has already been acted upon by someone else? How do you feel when no matter what you do you simply can’t be the quotes and mantras you read to yourself daily? You may have created another version of you to make excuses for hiding the true answers to these questions and maybe cast blame on the others.
Our children have us to reflect back to them who they are. What are we doing to keep them connected to themselves? How many times do we say “no” “not now” and “no” again? Any labels we use? Any labels you are still running your business of you? It’s a bit like having a trading name.
Ready for a self check in?