We have evolved from reptiles to mammals as has our brain. The brain we come with at birth is what we left off with from planet animal. A newborn baby knows how to route for the milk, poop, sleep and then some. This will continue for sometime and then as the brain develops depending also on the nature of the caregiving, the infant develops the new brain. In between the new and the old there will be a storehouse that regulates both the old and the new – the limbic system. The new brain aka neocortex is the brain that makes us human – it is the rational brain. We have the first reptilian brain that is the instinctual and then the mammalian one which is the emotional. This is a super simplified version of our brain.
Our initial years as infants is all about taming the reptile, training the mammal, and tuning the human.
The care setting of us as infants will provide us with the tools we need to acclimatise to the human world including the danger thresholds. We will learn how to behave, even start to form ideals. It mostly depends on what genes in us are stimulated (epigenetic); how much “danger” we are exposed to; the level of emotional regulation we receive; and then the structure within which to form our rational sense of self brain wise.
We know that if an infant is exposed to more than levels of “danger” or “threats”, the reptilian brain fires up, in which case a response to this will be formed just like animals, of either fighting back, fleeing, fawning or freezing. What happens if an infant senses danger but is quickly soothed so that his emotions are regulated? The threat passes, and a threshold is now set for the triggering stimulus as not so dangerous after all. But it is not as simple as that.
For the “threat” to really pass, and a danger appropriate threshold to develop, the infant will need a means of making it through the threat by following the cycle of threat instead of succumbing to the soothing but not dealing with the threat, perhaps crying about it, to then being soothed. An example is a toddler tantrum. Never stop a tantrum. This will need to be vented out and released. If it is not, it simply lodges itself in the memory of the body and plays out as a dis-ease. Once the tantrum is out, with the caregiver present throughout (since walking off can trigger abandonment depression in an infant), the caregiver then introduces the pat in the back, the hug or anything else that soothes and lets the toddler know they are safe. Limbic aka emotional regulation is then instated.
As the infants brain develops and becomes more sophisticated right through childhood pubescence and teenage years, the rational brain is fully developed. That is where our logic and reasoning skills are processed.
What happens when our mind is stuck at the instinct to survive?
- Our danger threshold is too high and
- Our unresolved and unprocessed dangers still run the show
- We are stuck in the past and possibly initial “danger” which results in “trauma” and “wounding”
How do we know when we have triggered animal instincts without limbic regulation?
- HYPER VIGILANCE
What can we do now?
- Tame the reptile by reprogramming the danger threshold (remember we don’t want to switch out survival instincts off as these are handy when we are in actual danger)
- Conscious and Active Relaxation
- Training the Neocortex, our human brain
Have you noticed how stressed out stay at home parents are? It’s down to their stress responses being on all of the time. This is a natural instinct to protect our offspring. Just being on that level of hyper vigilance makes us exhausted and can even lead to burn out if we don’t recognise this. This is why a stay at home parent will need to learn to make relaxation a priority without compromising on the care of the infant.
What happens to someone who has a frozen reaction to danger somewhere in their body? (Most of us will have this especially when the “fight” response to danger such as anger has been suppressed.)
Look at your life right now. Are you relaxed? Do you suffer from any ailments in the body? What about of the heart and the mind? What are your wounds? Could what you identify as a wound be a symptom of a deep perception to danger not worked through and out?
The only way out is through.
Taming the instinct to survive will come by restoring limbic regulation. For this, relaxation and a feeling of safety are vital. But first, to work through the initial threat to life.
As a parent it will be stressful and it is also meant to be so, to ensure that you are moved to protect your offspring. But when that stress becomes chronic and there is no reprieve this can affect how we parent. What can you do as a parent to ensure you get downtime? Do that.
Whatever “therapy” you choose, as long as it gets you to rummage through the crevices of your reptilian brain, and giving you a safe haven, it will assist in taming the reptile, relieving the need for hyper arousal and fear.
Stay safe in your own skin.